I’d had problems with relationship counsellors who didn’t work well with abusive relationships. I picked Jay from the internet because I wanted a counsellor strong enough and experienced enough to resist the manipulation and constant lying that my ex-partner was using as part of his coercive control strategy. I wanted someone to help us work to either resolve this behaviour pattern or to end the relationship.
Jay was kind, serious and professional from the beginning. As someone who was angry, was being abused and was locked into that life of constant disappointment and stress that is coercive control, I felt I was a difficult client. Jay enabled us to set boundaries, very much decided the line we needed to take through therapy, come from a strength-based position and each have a voice.
I found Jay to be warm, good-humoured and intelligent. She met us at our level. Her online therapy game is strong. She was highly professional throughout, without being too clinical.
We had a series of couple’s and individual therapy sessions. Eventually the day came when my ex and I said ‘We think today’s goal is to work out how to politely break up with each other’. Jay assisted us to break up, then move out of the same house in the least damaging way possible. Then she supported me personally to recover afterwards. This was especially helpful because she knew what I’d been through.
After a coercive control relationship, you’re depleted in a way that’s hard to put into words. At the same time, there’s a heavy load on you because you’re trying to re-establish your life. Jay helped steer me through this time. I was very much at risk of losing my job, my health and my remaining friends.
My ex isn’t a textbook abuser. He’s not a stalker, not violent, has respected my boundaries post-breakup. It’s still tough. Every tank is drained.
I guess I’m putting all these personal details in to let you know that if you’re in a coercive relationship, leaving probably looks terrifying and staying is slowly killing you. And if you need someone to work with you and meet you where you’re at, and work to the degree that you’re comfortable with, then I recommend Jay as a therapist. She never pushed me to leave or to stay, she let me set my own agenda, and she is skilled and sensitive. And kind.
​
LL
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial 27/05/2022 - surname withheld for confidentiality)
​
​
"I have had a life time of trauma and had searched for help to feel a little safe and normal in some way for years and years .
I tried so many psychologists.. spiritual healers , but just couldn’t understand the cycle I was in . I finally hit a wall and felt like I didn’t want to live anymore , I never had any relief .
​
Then my sister referred Jay to me . I was so skeptical .. I just felt ... No I don’t want to tell my story again !! Well I decided one more and that’s it !!!
I had one 60 min session on the phone and a box of tissues later I felt heard understood and felt . Jay explained complex trauma to me and I felt a huge relief . I can heal ... am not hopeless and crazy .
​
We have had nine sessions and I am now feeling so different and happy ! I told Jay today I feel like a xmas tree . My teacher at yoga said I seem much more grounded and she doesn’t know I have been having sessions with Jay .
I am so grateful that my sister recommended Jay to me . I feel free and excited about my future .
I would recommend you talk to Jay and feel the difference . Jay has a way Of helping me to trust myself and have good boundaries . It’s endless and I get so excited to talk with her each week now."
"I have been seeing Jay for just over a month, and find her easy to talk to. Jay listens without judgement and offers multiple options, solutions and guidance helping me through my journey."
​
I would highly recommend Jay.
J.W.
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial 10.12.2019 - surname withheld for confidentiality)
Sandy
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial 10.12.2019 - surname withheld for confidentiality)
"Throughout my experience with Jay, I have noticed many positive changes within myself. The first time I stepped through the door of her welcoming home, I was feeling many things. Examples of these feelings were sadness, grief, fear and uncertainty from events that had happened this year. These events really impacted me, my family had noticed I wasn’t my same bubbly self and started to get very worried. I couldn’t keep anything in anymore and finally decided it was time that I seek help.
Jay really helped me overcome these negative feelings and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She listened to me when I went on long rants/talks, gave me really good advice, made all the fear of my health issues more easier for me to handle, always there with the tissues when I got a bit emotional, made me smile and just really understood and helped me. One of the things she recommended to help me from bottling my feelings up was a journal. Let me just say it has definitely also made a difference, I can say anything about how I’ve been feeling and it will be kept confidential but also so that I’m not keeping it all inside, locked up. I also still continue to use the journal to this day.
Im so grateful that I met Jaye and I wouldn’t of chosen anyone else, she’s really guided me through my rough times and helped me to cope. Thank you so much for everything."
Jess
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial 31/12/2019 - surname withheld for confidentiality)
"After two years of dating my partner and I were struggling to understand why ‘our almost perfect relationship’ would sometimes have terrible periods of conflict and pain for the smallest of reasons. We didn’t seem to have the tools to recognise, avoid, control or minimise the negative effects of these unwanted episodes.
We turned to Jay and Integrated Core Counselling to work with us as a couple and as individuals to understand and recognise what was happening.
Jay gave us techniques to understand each other and ourselves. We found we could use our new knowledge in positive ways. We worked hard at our goal of being kind and understanding of each other’s past and current needs, as a result we became closer and more in love. We were much better able to navigate our lives and our shared world.
We both appreciate Jay so much and feel so good after our sessions.
We are now newly engaged and enjoy continuing our sessions in preparation for a healthy marriage and happy life together, full of love and successes.
We are so very grateful for all the great work Jay is doing for us. We are becoming a really strong team and very much in love. Her guidance is helping us get to a place where we both feel really safe and happy.
We are consistent in love and the techniques we’ve learned help when doubts creep in or when we are triggered so that we get back to each other sooner.
The sessions with Jay keep our lives rich and full of love. It’s only when you understand the why about pain and conflict that you can do something about removing or minimising it from your life.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts"
J and M
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial 15/08/2022- surnames withheld for confidentiality)
KJ
(Bona fide verbatim testimonial05/07/2023- surnames withheld for confidentiality)
"I’ve been with Jay for the last 2 years and this is the first time I have ever felt so seen by a therapist. Not only seen, but heard and supported and reassured that I’m not in fact broken.
Jay is such a light for those of us who have faced darkness and offers hope and a pathway to recovery towards your best life.
I am so grateful to have her as my guide."